Alas for those that never tell, but die with all their stories in them.
Most People Die with Their Best Stories Untold - The Sundial Series is Changing That.
Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them!
Oliver Wendell Holmes. The Voiceless
Have you noticed how quickly this year is passing?
One moment it's spring; then summer feels like it's fading into autumn and, if you’re like me, you're wondering where the time went?
Photo by Timo C. Dinger on Unsplash
Sundial wisdom whispers to remind us:
FUGIT ET NON RECEDIT TEMPUS — It flies, whilst you look.
Time flies.
And, along with it, the chance to share your life’s story. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Let me tell you how you can do that one question at a time.
What Is The Soundtrack of Your Life?
Through each life, a soundtrack is playing within.
What songs are playing in your heart right now? What melodies are filling the fleeting flying days of your life?
Are you walking on sunshine, feeling on top of the world?
Have you asked, what have I done today that might make me feel proud?
Are you dancing in the moonlight with a touch of Saturday night fever?
Or are there sad songs?
Like, since your partner left you, you could only find a room to dwell at the end of Melancholy Road, at Desolation Inn.
(I’m sorry. I know those cryptic, corny and clichéd lines may only work for people of a certain age like me!)
Life soundtrack songs play in times of happiness and sadness.
Some at full volume, others hardly perceptible.
Now imagine if no one ever heard those songs! Oliver Wendell Holmes cautions us about that sad situation.
‘Alas for those that never sing, but die with all their music in them.’
But what if we rewrote that line?
Alas for those that never tell, but die with all their stories in them.
The Sound of Silence — The Sad Sound of an Untold Story
I can only think of one thing worse than dying, and that is dying with stories untold.
That incredible writer, Maya Angelou, said it better in her autobiography, ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.’
‘There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.’
What untold story is inside you?
What words have you left unsaid?
What tales unspoken bear agony within?
You may believe there aren’t any stories worth telling inside you? Not true. Not in a million lifetimes.
Each person is a unique melody, a symphony of experiences and an opus from day one to the final standing ovation. Your life is an overture the world needs to hear.
Even if that world is only your children or grandchildren. Your stories are priceless treasures and it’s time to start singing them.
But Nothing Has Happened In My Life (Wrong!)
Your life is a unique collection of experiences and happenings that should be told.
There is wisdom in your passing years.
There is a discovery waiting when you reminisce about past happinesses.
There is a strength you find in scenes of suffering.
There is resilience forged in the fire of loss and challenge.
There is courage discovered when your back is against a wall.
In my role as a professional eulogy writer and funeral celebrant, I’ve witnessed how easily powerful stories can get lost when people do not share them.
The Sadness of an Unsung Song and an Untold Story
I frequently sit with families who have lost a loved one. When I ask them to describe their life, to write the words of the funeral service, they will often say, ‘there’s not much to tell, really.’
They go on with phrases such as:
They went to work for forty years at the same job.
They were homemakers all of their life.
They enjoyed pottering in the garden.
They loved knitting.
Even within those simple memories, there are stories of persistence, sacrifice, nurturing, and creativity.
These stories go untold.
Many times retelling what was considered an uneventful life, suddenly realisation kicks in.
‘Yes, I can see now how dad’s persistence at a job he hated for forty years was an act of sacrifice and care so he could provide for our family. I’ve never thought about it that way before.’
The Shape of a Story
Kurt Vonnegut understood this deeply.
The American writer and professor Kurt Vonnegut submitted to the anthropology department at the University of Chicago a master’s thesis that was rejected.
In the preface to his novel Cat’s Cradle, he said they rejected it, ‘Because it was so simple and looked like too much fun.’
Vonnegut believed every character in a story has its ups and downs, moments, or songs we could call them, of joy, conflict, happiness, and sadness. By understanding the shape of these stories, we can get to see our lives clearer.
This might sound too simple and too much fun, but how can you tell the stories within you?
Let’s look at four shapes of stories, according to Vonnegut, so you could tell them from your life’s perspective.
Man in a Hole — Things start off well — go bad, then get better.
Boy Meets Girl — A classic romance story — partner meets partner, then conflict, but happy endings.
From Bad to Worse — It starts off badly and only goes downhill from there.
Which Way is Up? — Good and bad come in equal measure, and confusion or uncertainty prevails.
Can you see how your life’s stories could include shapes such as these?
The Three Pillars of The Sundial Series
Let’s write one of your life stories together using the first of the three pillars of The Sundial Series.
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
Download the free Sundial Series Worksheet below.
Free Sundial Series Worksheet
Download the worksheet by clicking in the image. Then store it away for steps two and three in the Sundial Process.
Or , get your journal and open it on a clean page.
Or, open a new document on your computer.
Even get a scrap of paper with half a shopping list on, and let’s begin!
The Three Pillars of The Sundial Series are:
Remember | Reflect | Write
Now, take one of the story shapes above — Man in a Hole, Boy Meets Girl, From Bad to Worse, or Which Way is Up.
Now think about a story from your life that could fit that shape.
Don’t overthink it! Chose a story shape now.
What is the first thought that comes to mind? Write it down.
Now list everything that comes to mind about that moment in your life. Don’t try to analyse it, think too much about it, just write it down.
It could be:
a name
a place
a person
a smell
a colour
a sound
a picture
a time
an event
an experience
an emotion
You might write:
one word
a sentence
a paragraph
a page or two
That’s a great start! Congratulations!
You’ve started telling the stories within. As we continue on this journey, we can come back to the Reflect and Write stages of The Sundial Series.
But remember, these memories become the music others will hear long after you’ve gone.
Create A Memory Box For Your Stories
Next, find ways to store these priceless treasures. It could be a journal, a folder on your computer. I use Google Keep.
Google Keep is a free web-based note-taking service offered by Google. As soon as a memory or a recollection comes back to me, I grab my phone and create a new Google Keep. The title becomes a line to remind me, and I add #StoriesToWrite as a tag.
As you store these stories, you will find one story leads to another and another.
As time slips by, the melodies of your life deserve to be shared. Writing them down ensures that these precious stories won’t be lost. The Sundial Series is here to help you do that before they’re lost forever.
Don’t die with all your music in you.
Don’t die with all your stories in you.
You, your family, your descendants, and the world need to hear your songs. This is just the beginning of a beautiful aria that will resonate for generations in your family.
Until next time — thanks for reading.
Pete
